staying.cool

…packing for moving sucks even more.

and cleaning for packing for moving sucks the most.

that is all.

…never matter.

the answers may never come.

the questions are never asked.

am i lucky, or just escapist ?

certain thoughts still sear my mind. questions continue to arise.

answers will never come. i worry about directing the questions to myself.

..is all it takes for realizations to hit you. is all there is between white and gray. is enough to take you from firm ground into a screaming, yawning abyss. makes it so easy to blame any and all faults that may occur. is what causes everything to go wrong. is what causes everything to go right. is simply, the stupidest thing that you could allow your mind to fall into. cannot be avoided ‘in the moment’. makes you wonder what the heck you were thinking. should never be analysed like this. leads to more questions than answers.

..is enough to mean the difference between success and failure. could mean the crucial point after which another ten hours would prove to be just as fruitless; if not as pointless. can mean ecstasy. could mean depression. may be the most unforgettable moment in your life. may be the reason that you never live life again. can mean so much. can mean that nothing has any meaning anymore.

..makes you wonder how you could be so stupid. makes you wonder if you are even smart. points towards how much more you haven’t acheived. can leave you complacent in underacheivement. is keeping me up at 3 am. was keeping me down at 2:40 am. had me ruminating at 1:40 am. nearly had me throw my laptop against the wall at 1:39 am.

..is what i need when thinking crap like this. is what i didn’t need to happen. is where everything eventually is caused. causes people to think about ’cause and effect’. means that neither cause and effect have any existence sometimes.

..shouldn’t cause you to think that you need to understand all this. means that i’m venting and not brooding. can never be explained. could mean that this entire passage is completely incomprehensible. might be one too many for the day.

..makes me wish that reason doesn’t exist.

karma’s a bitch.

..is never as simple as you think it is. or as you’d want it.

..involves compromise. and living with it.

..is unfair. which sucks.

..goes topsy-turvy over the smallest things. and never really comes back on track.

..has enough misunderstanding to make politics seem like friendship.

..is worst spent writing in cliches such as these.