a bit of floss

May 28, 2008

the kid lolled in front of the entrance to the store. he looked up at the ceiling, and then down at the floor, and then up again. partial reflections were fascinating to him. the light caught his eye, he saw all at once, multiple lights were visible due to just one. now he starting scraping his foot, angled away from the floor, on the floor in front of him. following the lines between the tiles, reaching the intersection with another tile, and scraping back. it was a game. how long could it be done? far longer that you’d think possible. a call came. he turned.

“come here and help me.” mothers. always wanting help. especially when they came to the store. so boring to get him all the way out here, and break him away when he’d discovered the quickest way between stones, without moving the foot.
“come her now!” this was the command. oh well.

the kid went over, the mom unloaded the two bags onto his reluctantly waiting hands, and walked on. he had had to enter the store, as they exited, he tugged at the saree. “amma.”

“come, come fast, we have other places to go.”
“amma, that.” indicating the machine, and the man standing in front of it. he smiles at seeing a regular customer. a stick is produced, the humming machine examined momentarily. then in an expert flourish, the stick dipped into the vessel and twirled, even while it is swept along the inner rim of the bowl. strands magically form on the stick.
“no, no, you had it yesterday.” she keeps moving. “now come fast, appa will be home.”

i stand now..

February 20, 2008

…at a desk, having presented my first paper in a conference attended by peers in my field.

…with satisfaction in the appreciation given by people who were genuinely interested by my talk.

…with the knowledge that the work i do makes some sense, somewhere.

…with 20 more ideas which excite me to a degree that i believe that something truly novel may come out of them.

…knowing that i am learning to stand for myself. 24 years after i learnt to stand in the first place.

friends can be pretty crazy sometimes

February 15, 2008

not the show, the people.

4348_7_pspslim_and_lite.jpg

a PSP ! these guys are beautiful.

as a side note, on my 25th birthday i’ve received candy, comics and a PSP. i guess i’m not growing up. and been stunned to silence twice.  the other time… i’ll think about telling you guys about it ;)

take-off

January 20, 2008

the hum of the engine penetrates the shell of the plane i am in… vibrating, permeating and then trailing away into nearly nothing at all. all at once, it is back, then gone; every few minutes now as the pilot readies for take-off. the plane speeds up. i can see little of the illuminated runway on my in flight display, mirrored by the window 2 seats away. the runway speeds up… faster, faster, a blur of gray now, a jerk… the plane is reared up into the air, and i am off.

again.
i hate it more than all the other times. possibly, the first time i took off like this 3 years comes close in terms of longing. longing not to leave. there was a moment today, outside bombay airport. i held my mother, then my sister; it seemed less than 5 seconds had passed since i had hugged them on striding out of the airport on a blistering wednesday afternoon. 21 days could not have passed since then. i did not want to leave them, leave home, leave bombay again. i had blinked furiously, tears were not something i wanted to face. facing them was well beyond me.

i sit in a flight now at dubai. i wanted one last glimpse of bombay, maybe a photo of its shiny night as i left. my distance at the aisle seat had precluded that joy. each time i come, it gets harder to be with everyone i want to, the way i want to, when i want to.

i really need to write more..

December 20, 2007

but i don’t.

i need to manage my time better.

but i don’t.

i wish i could finish so many things that i’ve started.

but i usually start them knowing i won’t finish. i won’t last.

i wonder if this post could be any more depressing.

i doubt it.

life, the universe and everything else that has no relation to it

December 14, 2007

the weirdest thing about life is that no matter how much you believe you will do something different, something unexpected… that somehow things are working out worse for you than anyone else.. eventually though, all of life is pretty much the same for each and every one of us.

the same troubles, the same worries, the same insecurities, the same issues, the same anger, the same reasons. and each one of us hit the hurdles at the same damn freakin’ time in our freakin’ lives.

almost scary.