Posts tagged mood

my event of a lifetime

It’s been too, too long.

Wish I had a good excuse.

Maybe this one: “Marriage does that to you.” Or even: “Things change like this after marriage.”

At the very least, marriage gives you a scapegoat that most married men will commiserate with. “Yes, yes.. I know what you mean.” Its either commiseration or a devilish satisfaction (as I saw on more than one recently married face that was turned to greet me). “Yes, yes… now you shall know what I mean! Muahahahahaha!”

I have enough things to write about that I might be able to post more often. However, the future looms close with promise of having to wait on the Mrs hand-and-foot.. so no promises.

my big event of the year is nearly here

The time has come.

Back to India.

Madness. All centered around me. And the missus. But me too!

There will probably be no posts for a bit here. I’m not live-blogging my own wedding, or even live-tweeting my honeymoon :P

Speaking of which, that is probably going to be the best birthday ever :D

It has taken its time to sink in, people have been asking me ‘How do you feel about you getting married?’ for weeks now.. and I haven’t really had an answer. Half the “wedding feeling” is in the atmosphere around you. Yes, I have great friends and a great missus who are all insanely excited about what is going to happen… but its not quite the same, is it? Having 20 billion people around you (or at least what feels like 20 billion people) all abuzz, all running around, ragging, laughing, managing, noise, shouting – this is what really makes that feeling really hit you.

A little bit of that feeling is striking me now. I’m not sure if it is my usual trip-anticipation jitters, but it does feel different somehow. Feels like a lot of preparation is coming together at long last. A big huge deal is about to happen, and I’m right in the center of it all. I want to hug myself and hold onto all the anticipation, save it for the big day.

The missus becomes more than just fiancée. She already is, but will now more officially be an SWMBO. I wonder how much she will like me as her PWOM (inverse of SWMBO).

I can’t wait.

a bit of floss

the kid lolled in front of the entrance to the store. he looked up at the ceiling, and then down at the floor, and then up again. partial reflections were fascinating to him. the light caught his eye, he saw all at once, multiple lights were visible due to just one. now he starting scraping his foot, angled away from the floor, on the floor in front of him. following the lines between the tiles, reaching the intersection with another tile, and scraping back. it was a game. how long could it be done? far longer that you’d think possible. a call came. he turned.

“come here and help me.” mothers. always wanting help. especially when they came to the store. so boring to get him all the way out here, and break him away when he’d discovered the quickest way between stones, without moving the foot.
“come here now!” this was the command. oh well.

the kid went over, the mom unloaded the two bags onto his reluctantly waiting hands, and walked on. he had had to enter the store, as they exited, he tugged at the saree. “amma.”

“come, come fast, we have other places to go.”
“amma, that.” indicating the machine, and the man standing in front of it. he smiles at seeing a regular customer. a stick is produced, the humming machine examined momentarily. then in an expert flourish, the stick dipped into the vessel and twirled, even while it is swept along the inner rim of the bowl. strands magically form on the stick.
“no, no, you had it yesterday.” she keeps moving. “now come fast, appa will be home.”

i stand now..

…at a desk, having presented my first paper in a conference attended by peers in my field.

…with satisfaction in the appreciation given by people who were genuinely interested by my talk.

…with the knowledge that the work i do makes some sense, somewhere.

…with 20 more ideas which excite me to a degree that i believe that something truly novel may come out of them.

…knowing that i am learning to stand for myself. 24 years after i learnt to stand in the first place.

friends can be pretty crazy sometimes

not the show, the people.

4348_7_pspslim_and_lite.jpg

a PSP ! these guys are beautiful.

as a side note, on my 25th birthday i’ve received candy, comics and a PSP. i guess i’m not growing up. and been stunned to silence twice.  the other time… i’ll think about telling you guys about it ;)

take-off

the hum of the engine penetrates the shell of the plane i am in… vibrating, permeating and then trailing away into nearly nothing at all. all at once, it is back, then gone; every few minutes now as the pilot readies for take-off. the plane speeds up. i can see little of the illuminated runway on my in flight display, mirrored by the window 2 seats away. the runway speeds up… faster, faster, a blur of gray now, a jerk… the plane is reared up into the air, and i am off.

again.
i hate it more than all the other times. possibly, the first time i took off like this 3 years comes close in terms of longing. longing not to leave. there was a moment today, outside bombay airport. i held my mother, then my sister; it seemed less than 5 seconds had passed since i had hugged them on striding out of the airport on a blistering wednesday afternoon. 21 days could not have passed since then. i did not want to leave them, leave home, leave bombay again. i had blinked furiously, tears were not something i wanted to face. facing them was well beyond me.

i sit in a flight now at dubai. i wanted one last glimpse of bombay, maybe a photo of its shiny night as i left. my distance at the aisle seat had precluded that joy. each time i come, it gets harder to be with everyone i want to, the way i want to, when i want to.