Posts tagged demotivated

ever since i read marie’s post, i keep going back to why i’m doing this. why am i blogging ? to be absolutely straight about it, this space is nowhere close to what it started out to be.

that it was started due to a few too many free evenings in college; and some inclination towards understanding the basics of web-design might be taken into consideration.

if this was free, then the decision is simple. if it was dirt-cheap; figuring the problem wouldn’t reallly be that much of a problem. its not. neither of the two apply.

can i really analyze this here ? why the hell not ?

i shifted to paid hosting because i wanted my own domain. i wanted to go the next step in webspace evolution. tomorrow will mark one year in the life of this domain. from the looks of it; i’m here for another year. this debate is essentially moot. over the last one year; i’ve seen the advantage of having webspace. its cool. its useful. its happening.

so, i keep the webspace.

now; what do i do with it ?

this blog is nothing like what i started it out like. neither am i.
amazing, wonderful, unique concepts would come to me (lets call them so for the sake of argument)… and i would extoll explanations that made sense to me. i figured out things that had been bothering me for years. then i made it more blog-like. a journal of sorts; but not the type that you regularly write in.

but i keep writing. i like writing. and some of it still makes sense. but i get the feeling my creative streak has been killed.

neither am i cataloguing my life in a way that others are able to. being really honest and all that. inherent character flaw prevents me from doing that. so i’m maintaining a blog, that is as expected, nothing like other blogs. as a blog cannot have definition.

its been good to me though. made friends i couldn’t have otherwise. met some really smart people; some really caring people; and renewed other friendships. discovered a voice inside me that i couldn’t have easily done in such public scrutiny. figured some principles of web development. found some amazing writers who still inspire me.

i don’t always have the inclination to write. i assume that people read what i write; and i try not to make  that the primary consideration. all good.

final point ? there really isn’t any. i’m finding it increasingly difficult to find things to talk about here. x365 does not count; but incidentally, that too is not easy. a noticeable lack of promptness in them might be noticed by people who notice such things.

can i still find things for staying.cool ?
good question.