Saying a lot, saying a little… who cares?
vestigial recollections and resolutions
Engines whir, and I watch as the plane passes the runway, the adjoining highway, then another, and another…then they blur together amongst the millions of blinking lights that make up the streets and homes of Bombay. I desperately try to retain a final picture in my mind as the coast approaches. The plane banks into the darkness as it leaves Bombay, and eventually, India.
I sit back in my seat trying to retain every lasting moment, every vestige of my trip.. to squirrel it all away amongst a host of memories that I don’t want to lose. A long family train journey and a celebration of my Dad’s life thus far – events that happen too few and far between for my liking today. Rituals, prayers, togetherness, joy and above all the type of fun I can only associate with India.
The second event happened was my own hooking the missus and ensuring I have to return in a few months to complete the “formalities”, so to speak. The kind of celebration and having a ball of a time thing that you can only do once in a while – especially when it comes to yourself. I have already spoken about the bummer that it is to miss a family wedding.. I should be able to make it for my own ![]()
And hopefully somehow make up for the bummer that was.
Describing the feelings, astonishment and enjoyment of the last 21 days is hard. Really hard. Everyone I know has grown up/old – and I still cannot come to terms with it. Cousins I have babysat now have talents and a precocity beyond their years. “Grown-ups” I cannot think of as anything but people bigger, stronger and more organized than me have.. started to show an age. I can see batons passing from one generation to the next. I miss not being able to see them grow. To see them live. To see them enjoy. To be with them. Share time and moments of joy that are eventually all that remain of a lifetime spent together.
Seeing everyone together after so long and enjoying (not just in photographs), watching a previous generation bask in the joy of a new one, realizing how your own family has changed and matured; even finding, meeting and accepting another family into your own – these are things one really misses sitting in a foreign land. Yes, I am now convinced that the US cannot really arrest my life forever. The so-called comforts and conveniences are mere rationalizations of a need to believe that one’s own country cannot measure up. I need to take hold of this degree and accordingly plan the eventual departure. There is too much I am missing, too much I am sacrificing sitting here. India has grown and adapted to a country that can more than challenge you – it has the potential to make a real difference.
It was the kind of trip that has proved to be life-changing in more than one sense. Hopefully life will stay changed too.
| Print article | This entry was posted by SEV on July 6, 2009 at 11:20, and is filed under staying.in.my.head. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
No trackbacks yet.
drained
about 1 month ago - 4 comments
I feel drained. There’s the deadline. The extension to the deadline. The paper. The second paper. The paper you are writing in parallel to the other two. Other people’s papers. Other people’s papers that you are trying to beat to the punch. Old papers that you want to get a handle on, but seem like
sibling rivalry
about 2 months ago - 8 comments
Purple or orange? Orange or purple? She looked from one to the other. And back. Then back again. Someone moved in the far corner, and she whipped around to see what had happened. There was a movement in front of her which she felt, rather than sensed, and she reached out blindly. While turning back
of savita and sacrilege
about 5 months ago - 4 comments
‘Tis a little hard to come up with a good way of intro-ing topical posts, while including my own snarkiness in the mix. Nevertheless, here goes nothing. It sort of splits up.. oh, you’ll see. ************************************ The infamous Savita Bhabhi was moved to the more focused Kirtu.com. Yes, focused. Only pr0n comics of Indian origin.
sachinism, the current religion of the indi-net
about 6 months ago - 3 comments
Stuff that struck me while reading about Sachin Tendulkar’s nearly unbelievable* feat, most of which will be repeated everywhere I look over the next few days/weeks: On this day 21 years ago He completed a 664-run partnership with Kambli. Twenty-f*ckin-one. His 200 contained 25 boundaries (the most by a single batsman in an ODI till
my event of a lifetime
about 6 months ago - 22 comments
It’s been too, too long. Wish I had a good excuse. Maybe this one: “Marriage does that to you.” Or even: “Things change like this after marriage.” At the very least, marriage gives you a scapegoat that most married men will commiserate with. “Yes, yes.. I know what you mean.” Its either commiseration or a
i just got married
about 7 months ago - 7 comments
Need I say more? I can’t quite believe it myself. Faux pas admission (18th Jan 2010): In my calculating of dates/times in IST and EST, I kinda mucked up and jumped the gun by 24 hours But hey, she just becomes a Mrs. missus Thanks for the wishes, all.
my big event of the year is nearly here
about 7 months ago - 7 comments
The time has come. Back to India. Madness. All centered around me. And the missus. But me too! There will probably be no posts for a bit here. I’m not live-blogging my own wedding, or even live-tweeting my honeymoon Speaking of which, that is probably going to be the best birthday ever It has taken
clubbing together a month’s worth of everything into one big gigantic post
about 8 months ago - 1 comment
This is the 4th attempt I’m making at trying for a halfway decent beginning to a post. Have I really been reduced to saying such banalities? I can’t quite believe it. When I look at my front page, most of my recent posts are about movies. Reviews, basically. Most of my recent posts have also
what do i really believe in?
about 1 year ago - 7 comments
When it comes to religion, a lack of knowledge about the unknown has meant that I have come to classify myself as a sort of agnostic (as opposed to atheistic), but if you were to argue with me about God and rituals you’ll find I’m mostly just apathetic. I have been known to do rituals
what is my super-power?
about 1 year ago - 7 comments
I’ve spoken more than once about my games while growing up. The cape on my shoulders: the flight, the jumping of buildings in a single bound. The vines: the jungles, the swinging and leaping through dense trees galore. The battle(s) with evil foes: the multiple times each one had to be beaten into submission. To





about 1 year ago
about 1 year ago
You need to hang on to these little things that motivate you to go back. And of course, the roads in Madras!
about 1 year ago
ahh…the last few sentences pretty much sum up what I feel as well …
about 1 year ago
Nicely penned – exactly similar thoughts I leave with each time I go back; of course some things have changed for good, some for bad – but the good outweighs the bad in so many ways!
S
about 1 year ago
You make a very compelling argument..Nice.. Reaffirms my beliefs… I have to go back.. There is no other way..