having experienced ‘yuvvraaj’, i firmly urge a.r.rahman to sue subhash ghai for mutilating a perfectly good soundtrack into something you cringe at when the first notes hit your ears. not just because mr. ghai has recut the songs, no.. he’s gone one better. he has remixed them. recut them. added sounds and clips from all over the place. “improved” them, i guess?

almost seems like a case of plagiarism to me.

please, mr. rahman, please. i beg you. sue subhash ghai’s sorry ass. for killing your songs. for murdering tune, tone and beauty. for ensuring that gulzar’s lyrics make even less sense than they did when we listened to them without the vision of salman and boman irani miaowing and growling at each other, while prancing around like a bad case of elves on acid. add anil kapoor doing his best hammy himesh impression while OD-ing, as well as getting a chance to acting permanently brain-dead. katrina talking. boman irani playing something that yowls and prances with a morsing. zayed khan never forgetting the 2 most important things when saving someone’s life: a gun and taking off your shirt. while shakin’ the booty with african women. and of course, a wigged-up salman who gets to pretty much.. well.. i have no words to describe what he does. i don’t want to stray and review a movie that is so far gone that, as galadriel pointed out (paraphrasing from friends), it makes you “want to put your finger through your eye into your brain and swirl it around”. or even “rip your arm off just so that you can have something to throw at it”.

indeed. i kid you not.

to sum up. mr rahman: destroy mr. ghai. ensure he cannot inflict such torture on us again. ensure he never asks you for another song again. request salman to stop acting. katrina to stop talking. boman to stop whatever it is he’s doing in place of a career. convey sympathy to the others for their being beyond redemption. riddle mr ghai with bullets, and bring him back to life just so one can have the satisfaction of watching him suffer in death. while being stampeded by bulls.

and, of course, prabhuji has the final say: “indipendunt ve liwe, yunitud we staand.. a huppi phamilee.”