staying.cool

gese

July 25, 2008

When it started we were alright
But night makes a fool
of us in the daylight

sitting back. headphones in place. the strumming should come from your fingers, but it echoes in your head nonetheless. you look at the the screen in front of you. its getting boring. you’ve been looking at it for a while now. seven hours is a long time. you think you hear something. headphones off, walk around. nothing. the place is dead. there’s no-one around. motion sensor lights come back on as you walk past them, one doesn’t. you move back and forth to get its attention, this is unfortunate… a motion sensor won’t recognize your existence. and this matters to you.

have you become so mundane that you are considered part of the background ?

the final light flickers on.

So up they picked me by the big toe
I was held from the rooftop then they let go
Dizzily screaming ‘Let the windows down’
As I crawl to the ground

you want to yell. you want to scream. you want to be seen. you want to be known. thats why you’re here. you don’t want to be nothing. you don’t want to be forgotten in the debris. you don’t know what you can do to make sure you are never the muck. you are tired of being the shadow. you don’t want to be lost in the night. barely noticed as you pass the streetlight.

but the one thing you want most is that you want to see her. see her face light up when she sees you that night. you want to see her be impatient that you haven’t come yet. you want to be able to leave early and surprise her. you want to sit doing nothing, watching her do something. anything. have her ruffling your hair. see her excitement at a trip somewhere. even just to the movies. watch the fireworks light up her face. feel her burying her face in your sleeve when something scares her. remember her burying her face in your chest when you left her last.

just her.

If you’d only if you’d only say yes
Whether you will’s anybody’s guess
God only God knows she won’t let me rest
But I’m just so tired of this loneliness
I’ve become so tired of this loneliness

Coldplay - Yes
gese = ‘yes’ (in old english)