blowing up. and over.

July 28, 2008

india has been victim to a blast roughly every 2 months for the last 2 years. the blasts are happening more frequently now, and more blasts have being threatened by those who have done it. in 2008 alone: rampur, u.p. - terrorist attack. jaipur, rajastan - 8 blasts in 12 minutes. bangalore, karnataka - 9 blasts in 14 minutes. ahmedabad, gujarat - 17 blasts. the word ‘blasts’ seems innocuous now.

as i write this post i keep checking the news sites as i write, dreading another news item. greatbong pretty much summarized it. we live in india with terror as a way of life. people praise the ’spirit’. the ‘resilience’. the ability for people to get up after an explosion and keep moving. live life as though nothing has happened. is it really worthy of praise? we talk over dinner, mention the fact that [city] is already back on its feet. we make statements with a quiet pride about how quickly people were back to work, back to running around their daily routine, back to life.

seriously?

we talk about how nothing has been done. how the system has not managed to get anything done for any of the victims. how none of the criminals have been caught. that this is why people have learnt to keep moving on from one blast to the next. we deride the lack of effort taken by the police, the politicians, the press, anyone. we say that we in india have no spine, we do not care enough, that we are not fit to do anything about anything. and then we continue eating and start discussing ‘the dark knight’. i do this all time, and every time i finish it hits me like a body blow.

gese

July 25, 2008

When it started we were alright
But night makes a fool
of us in the daylight

sitting back. headphones in place. the strumming should come from your fingers, but it echoes in your head nonetheless. you look at the the screen in front of you. its getting boring. you’ve been looking at it for a while now. seven hours is a long time. you think you hear something. headphones off, walk around. nothing. the place is dead. there’s no-one around. motion sensor lights come back on as you walk past them, one doesn’t. you move back and forth to get its attention, this is unfortunate… a motion sensor won’t recognize your existence. and this matters to you.

have you become so mundane that you are considered part of the background ?

the final light flickers on.

So up they picked me by the big toe
I was held from the rooftop then they let go
Dizzily screaming ‘Let the windows down’
As I crawl to the ground

you want to yell. you want to scream. you want to be seen. you want to be known. thats why you’re here. you don’t want to be nothing. you don’t want to be forgotten in the debris. you don’t know what you can do to make sure you are never the muck. you are tired of being the shadow. you don’t want to be lost in the night. barely noticed as you pass the streetlight.

but the one thing you want most is that you want to see her. see her face light up when she sees you that night. you want to see her be impatient that you haven’t come yet. you want to be able to leave early and surprise her. you want to sit doing nothing, watching her do something. anything. have her ruffling your hair. see her excitement at a trip somewhere. even just to the movies. watch the fireworks light up her face. feel her burying her face in your sleeve when something scares her. remember her burying her face in your chest when you left her last.

just her.

If you’d only if you’d only say yes
Whether you will’s anybody’s guess
God only God knows she won’t let me rest
But I’m just so tired of this loneliness
I’ve become so tired of this loneliness

Coldplay - Yes
gese = ‘yes’ (in old english)

i wonder what the blah is going on..

July 22, 2008

why does did google currently have a gay.com ad in the sidebar down there ?

gay.com ad

it is just disturbing for me. its supposed to be content-based, so that is even more disturbing..

however, that should not stop any of you from clicking it. Please do. I’m begging you.

blah

July 21, 2008

upgrading wordpress 2.6 finally killed k2, much to my dismay. i’ve gone back to an older theme, with far fewer fancy notions and most importantly, managed to customize it to my liking. editing code eventually gets to be so much more fun than actually just throwing in some widgets or modules n shit.

i have no idea why i’m posting, i guess i just had to mention the fact that i have successfully changed the theme after far too long.

p.s. being too bored to think up a title is fun. i am thinking i should have different versions of ‘blah’ in my title for a while, and see how challenging that gets.

don’t be so serious

July 18, 2008

get the joke?

Must. watch. again. and again. and again.

story time

July 14, 2008

what kanchan posted about triggered some leftover thoughts in me, and i went ahead and put together one possible version of it. mind you, what really came home to me is that i need to write more, and think about writing more.

however, such mundane musings aside: Discovery. it is a little unfinished for my tastes, and maybe a little uneven.. maybe a few reads i might make in a while will help. i know i can’t expect help from any of you.

otherwise, enjoy. i think.