staying.cool

…however cliched that may sound.

25 is supposedly big. as a very wise man said: ‘its never too late or too early to be 25. One fine day, you just are 24 no more.‘ 25 is an age that you think of as far away. you tend to state a lot of things as going to be done by 25. as a kid, its the age of deadlines. i’ll be an astronaut by 25. superman must be 25. its the age that is somehow associated with things having been done. studies. a partner. a job. a million dollars.  i would now supposedly be considered a mature adult. the next 5 years are supposed to run away with themselves, and you’re 30 before you know it. i can look back at a quarter century of existence now, i can vaguely remember dreams i have had in the last 25 years.

i wanted to be over 6 feet tall. check. i should be on track for a million dollars. doubtful. someone special should at least be on the horizon. lets see. i should have answers to a lot of questions. i have a lot more questions now. work should be part of my life. i’m technically still studying. i used to think about doing an mba. i’m doing a phd. writing should be a part of my life. check. the kid in me should not have any complaints. comics, action figures, candy. check. writing this should be easy. anything but. i’ve always wanted to be different. i can only hope so.

it has been an interesting 25 years. i’m guessing any period of time over a day can’t be anything but interesting eventually anyway. i have my fair share of regrets. i have more than my fair share of high points too. i may not be living up to the potential that i used to demonstrate. i’ve learnt the rule of keeping on going no matter what works. i have faced some of my worst fears, and learnt the simple way of dealing with them. i’ve learnt opinions, beliefs and dreams are things that are completely personal. i’ve found out about how fragile and how strong a relationship can be at the same time. i’ve adopted cynicism and sarcasm as a way of life, and i’m liking it. i’m hoping that i don’t turn into the kind of 25+ year olds i have seen. i have realized some unchangeable home truths about myself: my geekiness, my relative unflappability, my insomnia, my anglophilia… and more.

i want to come up with a final statement, a fitting conclusion. but 25 is less a time to conclude, more a time to speed up. i see the year zooming by already. the question of how epochal a year it can be  is still up for grabs though.

one form of 26 is hitting already. i’m now 25 years and 26 hours old.

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