Saying a lot, saying a little… who cares?
Archive for June, 2007
kaboom barabar kaboom
Jun 30th
Posted by SEV in staying.creative
Mickey did not know what was to hit him that evening. After all, in the last 14 years, ‘McClane’ had gone to ‘Mickey’. The problem of hanging out with Ricky was that everyone else’s name started sounding like his. And Ricky was no stranger to ‘doing his own thing’. With his dad walking around in his feathered hat, strumming a double handed guitar tunelessly…it was all he could do not to bring the place down around him.
And to think the day had started with that song and dance about how life, love and everything else was just a big dance. And those pouty females wearing shapeless dresses…bliss pure bliss. Amazing, the things that people ended up doing while just walking around.
So, when Mickey was called in to take Sattu-the-scary-hairy hacker, he had to take Ricky along. Once they had blown up half the neighbourhood, fallen down 4 buildings (luckily all at the same time), and managed to sing a serenade to those two booty shaking females…it was time to hit the road. Unfortunately the females wouldn’t come along – not due to the lack of tickets – quoting the immortal lines:
Mujhe ticket nahi, Thukral chahiye.
Eventually, they reached the CIA headquarters. And found that due to a cross-connection (caused by all that damn hacking that was going on nowadays), the place they had been sent to was the Cow Incense Association. Apparently some kind of replacement for incense, which was environmentally friendly. And the fact that people may not want to burn cow-based products had possibly escaped their attention. Then, of course, they realized they’d ended up in Bhatinda instead of Washington.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (in Washington), the real CIA realized that they were on the brink of world collapse, due to some of the engineers finally believing the popups that flashed on their ultracool mind-controlled touch screens. The uppermost thoughts on their minds had finally taken over. And they needed Sattu to get them back on track. He was scary enough to make one want to never sing and dance again, after all.
Ricky, Mickey and Sat-key (see what I meant earlier ?) found themselves in Washington with only the loss of a couple of cruise ships and one plane. Most people found it pretty normal that they blew up every place they moved around in. The ruins of the NY pier were testament to how Godzilla had nothing on them anyway.
At this point, another cross connection happened. They found themselves talking to the villain of our piece, He-Who-Does-Not-Have-A-Name-But-Walks-Around-In-A-Weird-Getup. He was trying to reach his right hand lieutenant, the ultra-hot Mona Darling. Who knew how to look busy in front of a computer. Mickey tried his hand at making his standard sarcastic irritating remarks, but our Villain was a smart man. He already knew that Mickey was the true-blue hero with a penchant for blowing things up, and decided to blow up the USA using his adversary’s combustible talents. The CIA would remain distracted with their pop-up problems. Nerd hormones were notoriously difficult to get a hand(le) on. Telling them to ‘jack off’ wasn’t really helping their case. Or indeed,
Dil pe brake laga, aage dead-end hai.
As we all know, that wasn’t the place to put the ‘jack’ on.
While our trying trio tried their best to get to our Villain without destroying more than the occasional highway, the CIA suddenly realized that they had managed to throw caution to the wind during the singing of ‘Miss of Love’, and give our Villain all the money in America. Which was, again, a matter of world destruction.
Given that things had gotten sufficiently out of hand, our trio landed up at the Villain’s hideout. The one that had fallen off every mapping, tracking, and locating device known to man. Carting around all that computing equipment for generating those pop-ups wasn’t a matter of major importance. It could be confined to a simple Alienware laptop. Which had been thrown around a bit, when our Villain realized our trio wasn’t destroying America.
The question of whether the Villain would die due to the horribly ‘jerk’y triad dancing attempts of Mickey, Ricky and Satkey or whether they would due to the Villain constantly breaking into ‘Boom Barabar Boom…’ was not easily resolved. Over 2 hours later, around the time that half of America had lost electricity, gas, air, transport and their houses… the Villain revealed his true self. And died as his feathered hat and jacket contained the vital support system – he needed to hold something back while thrusting. (Which you would too if you heard his song.)
As our heroes found their heroines at the scene at that exact moment, Ricky realized that Mickey would be alone. Which was not a problem, as due to a curious co-incidence of fate, his daughters were the re-appeared booty shaking beauties. The Villain lapsed into his final coma at this turn of events, and everyone walked off into the sunset.
America was in ruins, but the world was safe. Or maybe not, as our quartet was on a honeymoon. And Mickey had to attend to the injuries that had finally appeared on him. The buildings, skyscrapers, highways, trains, planes, jets, cars, bombs had finally had an effect.
Until then, it was time to ‘Live Free’.
a new world ?
Jun 22nd
Posted by SEV in staying.creative
In which a day was a year and a year was a day. So that seasons changed soon. It was spring in the morning, rain at night and snow in between. But this made him start thinking: did the beings inhabiting this place call it a day or a year? Did they have birthdays every day? Now, that would be fun indeed. Cake to eat all day long; no, wait, that would make it all year long. Hmmm.. Granny always said eating cake all the time made you fall ill. Was that what these beings were? Ill? Was that why there was no one around? Or had they given up the unequal fight of trying to stay on a planet which revolved and rotated so fast and followed its own crazy orbit a long time ago, and fallen off its surface? Wow, that would be fun. He decided he would try to peer over the rim of the planet and see how many fallen bodies littered the space around. He tried taking one step and found himself shaking all over, arms and legs doing a tango of their own in wildly different directions.
What was that sound? Surely they didn’t have that in this perfect world!
Incidental to all this was the fact the peering over the rim of this planet wasn’t going to be easy. From what he could see, the rim was far. Really far. And that sound was getting closer. He should probably be looking for someone celebrating birthdays. Or even multiple people celebrating multiple birthdays. Lots of cake. Cake, was after all, key. Grandmothers are known to be overly protective. If they would eat cake more often, they’d probably never fall ‘old’.
He looked up.
Was going to be ‘in between’ soon. Snow came suddenly to these parts. And struck hard and cruelly. Uh-oh. That white humongous thing seemed to be headed down his way. Better find…
WHUMP.
Ouch.
Time to start digging. Up. That sound seemed to have disappeared. Snow does that to you. Relieves you of doing the tango as well, apparently. Weird damned planet. Rotation, revolution, tango and snow. And that sound as well.
For some unknown reason the words ‘Hi ho! Hi ho! HihoHihoHiho! Hi ho, Hi ho, It’s home from work we go..’ appeared unbidden in his head. He couldn’t very well sing, breathing was a little bit of a bother under snow. Stupid song. Where in the world had that come from ?
That and that were pretty tormenting. And all this digging. Would it never end ?
Interestingly, he’d never thought in italics and bold before. Formatting for thoughts was a new one.
It took a few hours. A few, because, he’d never thought of metrics before. He needed some good terms. ‘asd,asf,sda…’. No. Not really. Years and days were interchangeable, thanks to his definitions. Leastaways on a planet where a day and a year followed the same timeline. It was raining, but from the looks of it, it would be spring soon. Which wasn’t necessarily as good as it sounded. He still needed metrics. It would have to wait. Time to look over the edge. Time to get to the edge. ‘Hi ho! Hi ho! HihoHihoHiho!..’ Ah crap. Not that song again.
Walk.. walkety, walkety walk..
To be continued. Once again, italicized passage, Kanchan’s inception. The best I could do. I’m not happy.
the lack of a lesson learnt
Jun 21st
Posted by SEV in staying.thoughts
2 planes. 2 skyscrapers. collapse. ruin. destruction.
the true horror of the incident was indelibly re-etched. i’ve seen how the plane was hijacked all due to the carelessness of america. they were lax, and they paid. but the price paid, was far beyond any cost. the sheer terror of 2 planes destroying an american icon, the panic, the fear, the chaos, the destruction – these are things that were horrifying. at the same time, the number of conspiracy theories that have made the rounds have diluted that memory.
watching the crash again, watching the terror that it inspired, watching the bravery of people just wanting toe help inspite of their world literally falling to pieces around them.. such is something that reminds you there is more to everything than just what we tend to focus on. and the fact that those 2 men survived that day is testament to why terror can never truly have any real result.
sadly, america didn’t learn. repaying terror with terror has only led to a near second vietnam.
After watching ‘World Trade Center.’
