staying.cool

winter breaks mean transportation for car-less people in the states… sucks. really really sucks. unlike some countries where transport-for-hire is readily available, and cheap at that; this country believes in everyone buying their own means of transport.

obviously, after-effects of pollution are being seen today - expected when the entire bloody country owns a car. each. but, this is not a forum for discussion on how america is destroying the ecosystem of the planet.

today, i decided to try and actually go from one place to another. i was under the mistaken impression that such things should be done, that i should have some kind of agenda; and maybe i could get some work done.

for the break, we poor students are dependent on a transportation service that is request based. i’m not complaining; it makes sense economically. if implemented correctly, and maybe a little smartly. obviously, that is not the case; doing something in a smart manner makes no sense here.
and so, at 1 pm, i was at the bus stop awaiting the promised pickup. at 1:45 pm, i was at the same damned bus stop with the ground around me set into the groove of my pacing up and down. oh well.
miraculously, when i was about to start digging down to a lower level, the van appeared at the head of the road. joy ! however, i’m on the wrong side of the road - even though i’d given them this location, i wave to signal that i’m going to cross. logical ? i thought so. a space in the traffic, i begin to cross as the van moves into the faster lane on the other side… and speeds away. i wave once again, but the dude is long gone.

by the time the service could get in touch with the driver and recall him, he has reached the next campus. i’m told he’s turning back… and another 10 minutes should see him there. 2:15 pm, he deigns to appear at the head of the road again. gotta love it. that was half an hour later, by the way.
to think all i was trying to do was get back to my room to pick up something.

things picked up, i call the service for another pick up. gah. lack of bloody autos. or buses for that matter. 45 minutes later, around the time i’m ready to wreck the next car i see, he turns up. we leave.. in the exact opposite direction from the one in which i want to go. the remote fourth campus. goddamn. a pick up… and almost immediate drop. then back to where he picked me up, to pick up someone else. and then to yet another campus… to pick up no-one. random circuituous route choice.
and i’ve taken an hour and a half to reach.

do you think i managed to get my work done ?

now, i know why i should love america.

not so much the boredom, as the laziness that kills something.

even affecting this blog.
get used to it.

i’m disappointed with this post.

freedom is boring.

gah.

..and then freedom !

for a while, anyway. let me live in my cocoon of blissful optimism. it feels good to feel as though everything will be over.
when this is just the beginning.

47 hours and 55 minutes to go..

sitting alone on the bed, listening to the first strings of ‘comfortably numb’ pass into consciousness (or beyond it)… staring at the walls that still retain that tinge of.. blue.

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

suddenly the feeling of ‘blue’ hits; a sinking despondency that seems to take hold and possess every fibre of the being, every nerve feels tranquilized, the mind seems to be deadening… sinking into an inky blackness. my eyes roam the room: the white starkness of the walls around seem to emphasize the blue that is not completely covered by whitewash; it is almost as if the blue is trying to grow out of the white it lies beneath and seep through every particle it touches. a meaningless terror takes hold, the blue will diffuse out of the wall and take hold of even me.
a pause, a crowd in that stadium thirty years ago applauds trailing notes.

..how to fold time ?
i want it to be the 19th, now. never been so bored of work.