staying.cool

“Shoot !”
His finger was on the trigger. Just a little pressure, and she’d be gone. Gone in an instant of smoke, explosion.. and a bullet. At this range he couldn’t miss. But not right now. There is a time and place for everything..

Hey, chickenshit ! Pull the trigger !”
Yeah, sure. Try to irritate me. Try to get under my skin. Hope that I’ll snap and give you the chance you need. Babe, if I really wanted to; I’d have finished with you ages ago. Had you, shot you.. and be done with it. All part of the job description.
But then I love you.. and that makes all the difference.

“What do you hope to do just standing there ? Don’t eye me up, pervert.”
Pervert ? Perv.. ? Why ? Wh..?

“Pervert, freak, gets your jack..”
Look at her.. brown eyes, flushed cheeks, perfect.. and she thinks that I was looking…there. Why ? Dammit.. can’t she see it in my eyes ? The sound of her screams seemed to surround him, possess him with a repugnance he could not bear. She had to stop. He would have to give in to her. She thinks you are a pervert. You. Are. A. Pervert.. Her screams grew louder.. louder.. his head felt like a coiled spring, waiting to snap.Tauter, tauter..
Then it snapped.

Almost without thinking, he flung himself at her. Her bonds were broken in an instant, it was all a matter of knowing where to pull. He stood over her.. she looking up at him with an expression of hate, anger.. and a speck of victory. Barely there, but he could see it.
You think you’ve won.. you’ve not. You don’t even know..

He was holding her now. Her. Closer, closer.. he opened his mouth to tell her, about how he had loved her since he had seen her the first time.. about why he had done this.. about everything..

He felt the strike even as he could see her hand come away from his neck.. so quick, so very quick.. His hands went up reflexively to clutch at the stilleto; even now he could feel every heartbeat pump out more of his life. His face contracted in his effort to ask.. ask why she had done it. Life or death was still within his grasp: his and hers. It was barely a second, but he knew his decision.

His only regret.. she would never know.

[Obviously, based on this.]

the feeling of incompleteness.

the feeling of being alone. of knowing for all the proverbs out there; there is a point when you know just how alone you can be. and no, there’s never anyone there at the time.

the feeling of sadness. of loss. of regret.

the feeling of bury-me-in-the-muck-and-finish-it.

the feeling of exquisite pain.

the feeling when you want to end it.

we all know how microsoft really loves apple products… here’s another look at it. a little subtle, maybe; but look !

i’ve talked about rss readers earlier.. google has entered the fray; and very neatly nearly won me over.
thanks to lucas, i’d become an onfolio convert; when they were giving it away for free.. thought it must be noted that its a little too system intensive. its rss capture is wayyy superior to anything else as well.
a little more tweaking is needed by google; but its a far sleeker alternative to bloglines.

“Go ahead. Shoot.”

A big black hole. Thats all she could see. Amazing how it seems to be bigger than everything else when its pointed towards you. At the end of a gun.

“Shoot !”

His finger was on the trigger. Even the slightest reflex usually starts with the clenching of the muscles. Usually the hand, though the mouth would run a close second. Under stress, of course.
And his finger was on the trigger. Now, she wondered, stressing him out in a stressful situation can’t really be a good idea. But, if anything was to happen; stimuli must be given. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction; as science puts it. So..

“Hey, chickenshit… pull the trigger !”

His jaws clenched.

Thoughts ran through her head. A little more provocation might be good. But he might pull the trigger; and its not easy to outrun a bullet. Aimed from a couple of feet away.
She shook her head. Looked down, her hair fell over the fringe. She could see the parting between her legs. Too bad it wasn’t of much use in this situation.
Given that she was trussed up. Classic sailor style. And the knots weren’t coming apart. She would know.. she had been working on them for a good fifteen minutes. He could probably have done anything he wanted to by now.
She looked up again.

He was standing in front of her, still in the same position. No movement, and his jaws didn’t seem clenched either. Where was he ? Over the edge, in front of it.. or backed away ?
She looked at his face. Nice chin, aquline nose.. those eyes. She shuddered. Gray. Killers usually have gray eyes. Betray no feeling.
Did he look at all tensed ? No clue.. no clue..

“What do you hope to do just standing there ? Don’t eye me up, pervert.”

A vein in his forehead seemed to come to life. All at once, she started the litany. His weak point was found, and the result would be better than she could ever hope for.
“Pervert, freak, gets your jack..”
The first tremors hit his elbow, as his hand seemed to be possessed. Pull the trigger. Pull..
She continued to scream, almost into his face.. the room seemed to be filled with her chant. Every permutation of sexual mania, every idea one could have about erotica in the worst form… and all at once, he lunged. An animal scream from his lips, and he pulled her hands apart - her wrists burning with the burn of ropes torn away.
She was pulled out of her capture, thrown on the floor. He stood over her, staring down.. she knew she had him.. those seemingly sightless gray eyes were filled with a rage; even as his vein threatened to flood the room with blood. He lunged down again… and clutched at her.
Closer, closer, closer..

3 inches from her face, when his eyes glazed. The mouth opened.. and she could see the first drops of blood rushing to the opening. He was on his knees now, his hand clutched at the stilleto she had buried in his jugular. He wasn’t dead yet, but his muscles were contracting.. when she pushed past him; pausing to whisper centimetres from his flushed face, his features still registering the shock of the stab amidst his passion.

“Bang.“

It lay there, glistening with seemingly hidden glory. Even as he focused on its curved surface, the light came out from behind the clouds. The first rays of the sun seemed to hit it… ‘…and then there was light.‘

He squinted at the sudden flash and could just decipher the curved surface on which it lay. A slight movement, and the drop of light started to move. Ever so slowly, barely decipherable.. but the movement was there.

He followed what little movement was there, as it rolled down the smooth skin. At a point, it paused, apparently confused as to which path it should take. There were no paths, no markings for it anyway. She was blemishless. Her skin, her appearance as always beautiful, perfect. Skin that he had been trying to ignore, with little success. Trying to ignore what stood in front of him. Her skin. Her body.
Her.

He reached out, and was acutely aware he could see his hand reaching out. It seemed to be happening so slowly. Like the movement of the droplet. A little more, and his fingers were inches from the sparkle; when suddenly it seemed to disappear.

It had flowed away from the light.

He could barely see it now as it seemed to accelerate in a path only it “knew”, a chameleon the colour of her beauty. His hand, though, seemed to be moving at the same pace. All too soon, the feeling he would lose it came to him.. and he pushed forward; breaking out of the trance.

His finger touched her: all at once electric, soft, a graze of the skin he didn’t want to see.

She turned.