something real and complex
February 17, 2005hmmm.. it's been a hectic week. again, blogs on hold, blog on hold, sleep on hold, life on hold…
i was going through the mental dredges, trying to make sense of the muck that i've accumulated over time. more than one of you tried to make sense of what i was going through, and help.
thank you.
i was not able to make sense of what was going on. what to do, where to go with it, how to live with it.. in short, i was just running around in circles, thinking that keeping on plugging away at it means that i can find a way around it.
there is no way around it.
then what is the solution ?
my earlier solution, that of simply separating myself from them, is firstly what got me here; and as i realize now, simply not possible beyond a certain point.
all this is obviously hindsight.. friends of mine have tried to warn me against this in vain.. but as i've said before, you never listen and learn, you have to wallow in the muck and suffer. then you don't do it again.
now what ?
good question.
[no answer]
here i am. trying to make sense of it. trying to devise solutions to problems, that are purely in my own mind. trying to stay crazy cool in a weirder world.
for all i know, the HGTTG could be right in saying that when someone makes sense of it all, “it” will be replaced by something even more complex.
which might have already happened.
interestingly, though, listening to the HGTTG (yes, i found the original BBC series; and yes again, i have already read the book), has helped me in making sense.
that is, to not make sense.
paradoxical ? confused ?
aren't we all ?
the interesting thing is how books, or for that creativity, can serve as real guides to life. The Godfather, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter, The Matrix, Adaptation, Dilbert, Calvin & Hobbes…
the list can go on and on.
when we create, we think. we give an outlet to the parts of our brain that need expression. we make ourselves go crazy, so as to redefine our definition of sanity. the only way in which we can actually use the potential that our brains have to offer to us, is by clearing it out every now and then. “clearing the cache” in a way.
this does not mean that we forget about what we have already. rather, we focus on them, verbalize, define them…
as they define us.
the only way in which you can ever come to terms with what is around, is to come to terms with yourself. you define the world around you. or even how it appears to you. and how it can seem to behave.
and one of the major factors that affect this for you is what you are thinking.
and emotions are what affect those.
considering, when happy, the world seems to be an amazing place; rain has its own beauty then. when sad, it seems bleak.. even on a sunny day. and so on.
can i define my own universe ? it seems possible ?
what is my universe ? there, it extends.. to infinity.
we are all connected, so we cannot limit our definitions. what affects us, effects changes in us; is bound to create ripples that affect people around us who are connected to us.
sense or nonsense ? conscious or sub-conscious ?
real or virtual ?
you tell me.
Glad to see ya Sev.
Bubba | February 17, 2005Glad to see ya Sev.
i'm back and confused as ever with this lastest blog.
mo | February 17, 2005i’m back and confused as ever with this lastest blog. hope it helps that im trying to understand.
SEV, I'm kind of lost on what the exact situation
Jeni | February 20, 2005SEV, I’m kind of lost on what the exact situation is but you’re obviously in distress. Questions in cylces can make you crazy. I learned a long time ago that the minute I think I have all the answers, someone always changes the damn questions.
We have all been there, Satish. Trying to figure out a
Rohit | February 20, 2005We have all been there, Satish.
Trying to figure out a problem; ignoring them and pretending it didnt exist; mess gets worse; you somehow sort it out; just begin to feel happy and bham! another problem.
Emotions have a strange way of altering perception; situations alter emotions; people alter situations; we alter people’s perception of the sitaution that’s altering their emotionl so there is a ripple effect; we are indeed connected; but how long it takes for that connection to be realized, one can never say.
It’s all sense but sometimes even sense is nonsense.To us.To others,
Nice to have you back.
Sev-Many times this world seems very lonely and big even
Vickie | February 20, 2005Sev-Many times this world seems very lonely and big even though it really is not it is just our perception at that time, I’m not really sure just how things are with you but knowing you do come back and respond keeps me content and gives me hope. I’m glad that some of the comment I made to you before did reach you. Know I am always here for you my dear friend…As I am Always Victoria
@bubba1: glad to be there to be seen, to be
SEV | February 21, 2005@bubba1: glad to be there to be seen, to be felt !
@mo: more than anything else, the fact that you at least try to understand, without dismissing me as some crazy guy ranting away….
means that i have to convince you of the fact !
put that one down to my warped sense of humour.. but you’ll soon get the hang of it.
@Jeni: yeah, i know.. something i realised. as they say in the HGTTG, we don’t even know the questions to which we seek the answers.
@Rohit: that was brilliantly put. the sad part to me is that most people live this nonsense, without even accepting that fact. or realising it. oh well..
@Vickie: you are always the one person i know who can stay upbeat.. all the time. it helps to know, as i have said, and as far as how i am.. that is a question that will be answered by what you feel when you come here, rather than explicitly.