staying.cool

happy birthday to me

January 25, 2005

hmmm.. reality faced me on the 21st of january.

which was incidentally my birthday.

a birthday is meant to be a day of celebration.. a day that you have fun.. a day to refresh yourself, to give yourself strength for a new year ahead.
and yet, mine was more a day of realization for me.

from the presents and wishes that i got from my family, to the greetings and mails from my friends; to the comments i got on the blog: each and every one was an eye-opener for me.
i realized that i affect people's lives.
i change the way people think. people feel. even the way they live.

its a theory that i have long expounded on this blog.
but not one that i have seen in real life, in such a major way.
friends, family, acquaintances, soulmates.. all of them showed me that i matter to them. that i have made a difference in each of their lives. in some small way.
in some small way.
and yet, i never really realised it.

that small way was enough to make big differences in each of their lives.

and that's when i realised that i too had been affected by them, that all of them had also made differences in my life. they have changed the way i think, the way i behave, the way i feel, even the way i live.
amazing.

life is supposed to be a mesh of connections that we form whenever we connect with someone, or even something. the invisible connections that bind us all together are still strong. they are still quivering with the many thoughts that bind us.

and this is still happening. even now. this minute. this second. one is actually being formed between you and me.

i could feel the mesh alive and vibrant around me, stimulating me, enlivening me on that day.
it was like getting reborn.

thank you to all those who've given me back my faith in your own way. you know who you are, and the connection between us will remain as strong as ever.

the best part is that it showed me that life is still worth it. there is a better chance of there being a point to it all.

at least, i have hope.