I try to say a lot while saying very little. Get used to it.
my event of a lifetime
Feb 8th
Posted by SEV in staying.in.my.head
It’s been too, too long.
Wish I had a good excuse.
Maybe this one: “Marriage does that to you.” Or even: “Things change like this after marriage.”
At the very least, marriage gives you a scapegoat that most married men will commiserate with. “Yes, yes.. I know what you mean.” Its either commiseration or a devilish satisfaction (as I saw on more than one recently married face that was turned to greet me). “Yes, yes… now you shall know what I mean! Muahahahahaha!”
I have enough things to write about that I might be able to post more often. However, the future looms close with promise of having to wait on the Mrs hand-and-foot.. so no promises.
To begin at the beginning… so much has happened that I can, at best, barely give a glimpse of the highlights as they remain with me only three weeks later. There was the preparation I had to undergo, such as going to a beauty parlor for a facial, manicure, pedicure and a haircut. (Quit laughing, you.) Its all required regulations. Have to look pretty on the day. Even if no-one ever pays attention to the groom (the video has proof of how much clamoring I had to do to get people to notice me enter). A certain amount of respect has welled for women who undergo such processes on a regular basis (along with waxing and tweezing) as the Mrs has helpfully reminded me.
More frustrating for me was not being allowed to go out. ‘House arrest’ about sums it up. They gave me some cock-and-bull story about it not being good, and took some names and so on.. but I complied. To an extent, it paid off as it meant I got to glory in the attention of the amazing number of relatives who hung around for the whole event. Until, of course, they were each called away on various other tasks they had to finish so that I could get married.
The greatest beauty by far, was the smooth syncing between everyone around. Things just happened as they should on the day. Yes, everyone involved had been planning for months in advance and so on.. and I had to live with being the guy who gets to enjoy it all happening for his sake.. but still. There is a
certain beauty to see people turn up out of nowhere to get the job done. Accommodation, food, transport, luggage.. a virtual well-oiled machine cannot be a better description. Even before I could think, “What about this?”, it was already being prepared for and underway. I only wish I could appreciate such people more.
The actual event is a near-blur. Some stand out moments include the ‘kaashi yatrai‘ , the ‘thirumangalya dharanam‘ and the ‘saptapathi‘ (decent precis of everything in a Tam Bram wedding here). In the ‘kaashi yatrai‘, I finally felt like a groom. The vadhyar had done an awesome job of tying my ‘panchakatcham’ – which also has to be the most comfortable male dress ever. I really didn’t want to take it off. Back to the point, at that point it felt as though I was king of the world (I guess in terms of the ritual, I sorta was too — they had to offer me the Mrs. to make me stop walking away
)
Tying the knot around her neck (‘thirumangalya dharanam‘) really felt like the culmination of a long, long journey. I could reminisce here about the first time of the many things that make up a relations, and so on and on… but those are details that shall remain shrouded in the mists of time. The Mrs was looking like a dream at that point – one I won’t forget – the feeling of first taking her hands in mine and then being guided to tie the knot suddenly made me realize the responsibility I was so naturally able to take in my hands. As I attempted to make hazy sense of ancient Sanskrit during the ‘saptapathi‘, (something struck me about the part of only holding hands with each other until the ‘saptapathi‘ was completed), so many thoughts, feelings and words were jumbling up inside me… its hard to elucidate. There was elation, there was some part of me that wanted to yell out to each one present what I was doing… there was also some vague realization of how there were so many people there – all so happy to see me (and her) go to this next phase of our lives… there were memories of days past, there were flashes of what might happen in days to come.
Right. Back to the more warmly sarcastic tone of this blog.
Or the gloating one in which I tell you that I spent my birthday in conjunction with my honeymoon.
Most. Awesome. Birthday. Ever
‘Nuff said.
More generic India observations next time.
i just got married
Jan 17th
Posted by SEV in staying.in.my.head
Need I say more?
I can’t quite believe it myself.
Thanks for the wishes, all.
my big event of the year is nearly here
Jan 8th
Posted by SEV in staying.in.my.head
The time has come.
Back to India.
Madness. All centered around me. And the missus. But me too!
There will probably be no posts for a bit here. I’m not live-blogging my own wedding, or even live-tweeting my honeymoon
Speaking of which, that is probably going to be the best birthday ever
It has taken its time to sink in, people have been asking me ‘How do you feel about you getting married?’ for weeks now.. and I haven’t really had an answer. Half the “wedding feeling” is in the atmosphere around you. Yes, I have great friends and a great missus who are all insanely excited about what is going to happen… but its not quite the same, is it? Having 20 billion people around you (or at least what feels like 20 billion people) all abuzz, all running around, ragging, laughing, managing, noise, shouting – this is what really makes that feeling really hit you.
A little bit of that feeling is striking me now. I’m not sure if it is my usual trip-anticipation jitters, but it does feel different somehow. Feels like a lot of preparation is coming together at long last. A big huge deal is about to happen, and I’m right in the center of it all. I want to hug myself and hold onto all the anticipation, save it for the big day.
The missus becomes more than just fiancée. She already is, but will now more officially be an SWMBO. I wonder how much she will like me as her PWOM (inverse of SWMBO).
I can’t wait.
the year it all started changing
Dec 31st
Posted by SEV in staying.thoughts
That sums up how I see 2009.
Consider if you will: Engagement. Proposal (to the missus, and to my PhD committee). Those each warrant as epochal all on their own.
They are overshadowed in my mind by what is to happen in 2010.. so this post may seem a little distracted.
I’ve seen “at the end of this decade” posts galore. Movies. Books. Events. Photos. Music. Acting. Games. Comics. You name it. Somehow this decade appears to need a lot of summing up. I had some things I wanted to sum up too.. all from my own point of view. I don’t know if I’ll ever get round to doing it.
My own current post remains to be about the year just past though. ‘Engagement’ and ‘Proposal’ do a fair job of summing it up majorly, as I’ve mentioned. Minorly… I actually have to go back to archives to see what “minor” events are there to talk about. This year saw a lot of me talking about how I have nothing to talk about. And that there are a lot of things I want to talk about, but am too lazy to blog about. I started talking more “tech” too – in fact, my frustration with my (nearly dead) HP laptop has been the cynosure of a lot of eyes recently. I have learnt some degree of photography and I have to take it more seriously if I don’t want it to languish like so many other things (like this blog). I’ve written a lot more about movies than ever before. Pretty much summed up/reviewed/critiqued every movie I’ve seen this year. Which reminds me that ‘Paa’ is decent, ‘3 Idiots’ is fun and ‘Sherlock Holmes’ is awesome due to RDJ.
See what I mean?
Personally – there have been drastic changes. A lot of which have happened without me realizing it explicitly. Nothing for the bad, as a lot of them are due to the missus… but when I sit back and think about it now, it feels… strange. Awefome, but strange. I may have mentioned this before, but growing up is something I always thought happened like a superhero changing into his costume – some kind of illuminating flash, and you’re knowledgeable in some new way. It is almost wondrous to realize that you’ve learnt stuff without the flash of illuminating light, that you’ve grown up, that people see you as ‘grown up’. At least to some extent. I do still read comic books after all.
As said in my movie of the year (for which I have pretty much gotten the dialogue by rote): “Aife aife kaife kaife ho gaya…aur kaife kaife aife aife ho gaya.“
Have a good ‘un, all. A great ‘un lurks around the corner.
clubbing together a month’s worth of everything into one big gigantic post
Dec 22nd
Posted by SEV in staying.general
This is the 4th attempt I’m making at trying for a halfway decent beginning to a post. Have I really been reduced to saying such banalities? I can’t quite believe it. When I look at my front page, most of my recent posts are about movies. Reviews, basically. Most of my recent posts have also ended with a sign-off saying that I will have a proper update soon. This post, by virtue of being an “update”, doesn’t count as a proper post either. I have notes here, there and everywhere galore… none of which I have really expanded on. Hell, when I was going through my drafts I realized that I had a started a post last winter which I never got round to finishing.
I’m not happy with that start either, but its a start.
After a while of working on research topics with no apparent end in sight, I had the one-two punch of back-to-back deadlines. My first reminded me of the good old days of last year when I spent every waking moment on work. A lot of my moments were spent awake… to the extent I had a major first-year-PhD flashback when I pulled an all-nighter so as to somehow, anyhow get the paper in shape (it didn’t quite succeed, but anyway). The result of my next deadline was here for all to see… meaning I’m on track with what I expected to finish by now. The missus might say otherwise, but she doesn’t really count. She’s supposed to keep the pressure on, I’m supposed to fool around and ensure she has something to do
It is a gratifying feeling to receive recognition for what you have done. It is gratifying to realize that hell, you really have learnt some things during the course of your degree so far. It is beyond awesome to live well up to the expectations that you had set for yourself for a particular goal. Enough back-patting, all of this just means I have so much more expected of me in the time to come. There are caveats to everything you do. After all this back-to-back work, it is hard to fall back into a normal groove. Sleep doesn’t come easy, your body craves being completely spent when it hits the bed. Sleeping the sleep of the “mentally dead” is a pleasure that you shouldn’t get used to.
In a not-so-shocking update, my laptop actually failed on me 12 hours before my big day. I’m not even kidding. It says a lot that the failure didn’t make the slightest difference to my prep, but I had my revenge. I ripped it apart within the hour of finishing the proposal
I then spent a week modding it with copper and putting it back together. Happy realizations struck: (1) HP laptop architecture could not be worse, (2) I need to blog a long post about how to do what I did, (3) I should have done this ripping-apart 6 months ago. As it is, the damage appears to be too extensive despite my best efforts. I have to bake the motherboard next. You read it right. Bake. The. Motherboard.
For the first time in 4 years, I have no machine to call my own. And it sucks. Sucks. I have a machine which I could borrow so that I’m not completely bereft, but it feels like something is missing nonetheless. I’m looking forward to building a new machine from scratch, if nothing else the HP rip-apart showed me that I really miss that side of engineering. Plugging, modding, figuring out how things go together – the whole shebang. How much I rely on the cloud can be seen in how little I needed to set up on this borrowed machine. On the flip side there are some things I distinctly feel unable to do, and I’m really getting into the mood to do them (photography updating, for example). The heart wants what it can’t quite have, I guess. But then maybe I’ll end up doing it all online, and really move into the cloud. Sounds like a pipe-dream to me.
I have way too many feeds in my Reader. It took me concentrated effort to catch up with a lot of it after the weeks of work, and that was despite at least checking the basic news feeds once a day. Man! I did not see this happening when I started with RSS a long long long time ago. As the missus asked, why not just mark a bunch of them as read? Or better yet, remove ones that I’m not really “reading”. I’ve done this. I honestly believe that I need to keep up 227 subscriptions on a constant basis. I need help.
This post doesn’t even begin to start on some interesting techie things I have thought about. Will I ever concretize that stuff?
And this theme fuckin’ rocks. That is all.
avtr
Dec 18th
Posted by SEV in staying.aside
Avatar is a mind-bogglingly spectacular extravaganza, proving Cameron has truly reinvented cinema as we know it.
I can only hope it pays off. It would be sad if such movies are not made because they don’t make enough at the box office.
IMAX 3D only. Please. Don’t insult the man’s effort. No 2D. No IMAX Digital crap.
Go.



